Big Balls Won't Fly

On a flight arriving in Detroit Metropolitan, a would-be terrorist burned his leg and singed his balls as the explosives he was carrying in his underpants burst into flame instead of exploding as he had intended.

Had they exploded, castration would have been the least of his problems. Now, though, one must wonder at the consequences. Somewhere there is a Mustafa The Bomb-Maker, whose defective merchandise let this hero be near-castrated instead of immolated. Will the angry customer ever return? Will Mustafa ever sell another bomb? Will he be required to test them first? Mustafa, there is someone at the door...

Meanwhile, in the rest of the world, hundreds of thousands of the rich and famous and even just moderately so-so will be submitting to very detailed scans of their bodies at airports to see if they are hiding anything in the wrinkles. On men, these scans can count to three.

And, if you have big balls, forget it. You will be need to be felt up.