Saturday, November 04, 2006

Capture The Rapture

Oh my. The rapture is beginning.

Truth has outed the highest evangelical in the land. A spouting homophobe has been spurting in a paid male lover's hands. Choosing the drug speed over the holy rapture. His hired hand is on the air everywhere, true and honest in mein, contradicting each new layer of lies as the lies contradict themselves.

Meanwhile, Speaker of the House Hastert, third in line for the Presidency, is losing his job and possibly his seat for covering up the activities of cock-eyed optimist Senator Mark Foley as he cruised the Senate pages.

Saddam Hussein's sentencing is set for Sunday. The Republicans who set the date hoped that this story will capture the news. Newsmakers will ask each other why sentencing was delayed until just before the election. That is the story. Partisan misuse of the criminal justice system.

The capture of the voting process into a secret world of black-box computers is falling to shreds. Not only are the machines corruptible, they are flaky, full of bugs, untested. If a Republican winner's vote total differs from the exit polls, that winner will wear a cross and be assured an investigation.

Some voting machines even have a little yellow button at the back that lets a user cast multiple ballots. memory cards have been lost. Machines have been "taken home for safekeeping" by the poll workers. Power outages stop the vote.

The office of the auditor for the Iraq reconstruction effort is scheduled to close next year. Reconstruction companies are giving up and leaving, unable to work in a continuing war zone. The government we put in place is closing down our checkpoints to prove it is not a puppet.

The war is going to the dogs. Endless sniping and roadside bombs are draining the blood from our army as it marches in place, going nowhere. The military is increasingly calling for the resignation of its leader, Mr. Rumsfeld. The country we tried to help moves increasingly toward chaos. A humanitarian crisis is developing. People are starving in the land we liberated.

As the SEC opens an investigation of Halliburton, the Vice President is shredding a van-sized pile of notes. His departure from office after the election will open the field to new blood.

Senator McCain is pulling a Hillary, trying to make friends with the homophobic right by confirming his position against gay marriage. For what little he may gain by echoing homophobia (and raising doubts about his honesty), he's losing any gay constituency he may have for 2008, plus all their families and friends who would really like to see Adam and Steve settle down. He may be our next Vice President.

Corrupt senators and congressmen are being outed and exposed right and left. Well, right, mostly. The ones on the left haven't had enough power lately to be worth corrupting, so they're de facto clean. Give them time.

Republican smearers, seeking to ever improve their act, are reaching into the land of the ridiculous and even just blatantly lying. Their tossed poop grenades bounce back into their laps. After grabbing for the moment the power to imprison anyone without trial, Mr. Bush now accuses his party's opponents of complicity with the enemy. Helping to get out the vote, he is.

"The Democrat Party has no plan to win in Iraq. In fact, their only plan is to leave before the job is done." He just said that on the news. 8:09 AM on CNN. His own confusion is evident.

The ghosts of unresolved crises past are rising from their slumber into the light of day. The Plame investigation, the Abramoff investigation, the torturing done in our prisons, the secret wiretapping, the corporate plundering of the common purse - the ghostly ravens are coming home to roost. Chanting "Nevermore!"

Dan Rather is returning to broadcasting with a new news program. Remember 1972? The year George walked away from his military commitment? That really happened. The "memogate" issue that lost Dan his job was a faked kerfluffle. He's back.

George may walk again.

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